He Is Not My Spec…
My younger sister, Ope came back home one day from school. After changing her clothes, she settled down in the living room with the rest of the family clearing her vocals ready to tell us how her day went.
Being a very dramatic girl, she started this way; “You people, I have gist for you o . Something rather hilarious happened to me today. Can you guys take a guess ?”
After some minutes of wrong guesses, she decided to spill the beans but not after teasing us.
“You guys cannot even guess right Sha. Aunty Moji, you are worse than mommy when it comes to guessing o. You better come, let me coach you on how to guess right “. She said.
(“See me see trouble, see insult. Did I beg her)?
“So as I was saying; today was a very hilarious day for me. Something happened while I was coming back home.
Do you guys know Nick that his dad sells cement? That guy living two street from ours?” She asked.
“I think I know him, what happened”. Momsy asked.
“He did or should I say; said something funny today.
I had just bade my classmates goodbye and was coming home “jejely” when from no where, Nick arrived.
He greeted me and asked how my day was. I told him it was great and all of a sudden, he started smiling sheepishly.
He was stealing glances at me and was blushing. I asked him if he was okay as he didn’t appear to be. He told me he was perfectly fine and I nodded my head.
Suddenly, he removed my lunch bag from my hand and offered to carry it. I quickly collected it from him and told him to never mind. I was fit enough to carry my own things.
He tried cajoling me, but I was persistent as well. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable as he kept following me. Didn’t he have a place to be? Did his mom know he wasn’t home yet? I wondered and decided to question him.
Nick, don’t take it the wrong way but can I ask you why you are tagging along with me. Is there any problem? Aren’t you supposed to go home immediately you leave school?” She inquired.
Well, I’m supposed to be at home, but I decided to see you first before going home. The thing is I have something important to tell you. It’s really important. He said.
“You wanted to see me ? And what you want to say is important? Okay, go on”. She stated.
“Ope, ever since I met you two years ago, I knew there was something different about you. Although, you never talked to me for a long while but I liked you from the first day I set my eyes on you.
You don’t know how excited I was when you said hi to me after I greeted you last week in Mama Rukky’s shop.
You were smiling so beautifully even in the dark. As I saw you, my heart began to skip. Don’t take it the wrong way, but I think… I think, I love you”. He said blushing really hard”.
As she said so, everyone in the house burst into an uproar of laughter. I was laughing to the point I was tearing up.
What made it funny for me would be the way she was putting her words into action.
When are we doing marriage now? You’ve found the one… I teased her.
“The one ke? Aunty Moji, please don’t whine me”. She inferred jokingly.
“This is love in Tokyo “… Momsy said.
“So what happened afterwards, what did you tell him”… We inquired curiously from Ope.
“Wait o, I just realized I’m hungry. Let me first eat before I continue my story”. She announced keeping us in suspense for an eternity; it was just twenty minutes sha.
“Eh ehn, so where was I?” She asked taking a comfortable position on one of the sofas.
“You were telling us how Nick asked you out before you left”. We reminded her.
“Oh! Yes. He asked me out and truthfully, I was surprised. I didn’t expect to hear that from him. Well, he had said it. He couldn’t take his words back.
He quickly held my hands again and was about talking when I withdrew my hands from his.
I was becoming upset. He was behaving unruly, and I wasn’t going to be a party to that behaviour of his.
I seriously do not like the way you are fiddling with my hands. If you have something to say, speak but don’t touch me. I said to him firmly.
He apologized for his behaviour and promised not to do it again. I was about leaving when he called my name; “Ope, don’t go yet. We are not done talking”. He said.
“I know you must be shocked with what I said. But I want you to know that my feelings for you are true. Do you love me too? Tell me. He asked.
“I would be very candid with you Nick, I don’t love you and you as well, you don’t love me.
The truth is, you don’t know what love is. What you are experiencing isn’t love. It’s just pure infatuation. You are only being attracted to me. Nothing else. Your feelings would vanish in thin air if you can just give yourself time. She assured him.
“But why? I don’t want to give myself time. I know I love you. And if you give me a chance, you would grow to love me eventually.
Are you scared of your family? We can hide the relationship from them. They don’t need to know . “Aburo Nick” advised my baby girl.
Ope smiled and said; “but I never hide anything from my family. My family trusts me and I don’t intend on breaking their trust. You should do the same. Don’t break the trust of your family.
“Why are you now behaving like one holy than thou child. Everyone our age has a boyfriend or girlfriend. What’s new in that? He asked her.
And my baby girl concluded the statement with this; “Thank you, but no thanks. It’s normal doesn’t mean it’s right. I prefer being abnormal this way. I should take my leave, have a nice day”.
“Gbam! Gbamer! Gbamest!”. I was impressed at her courage and wisdom. My thirteen years old sister had proven maturity. “E sweet me die“… Permit me to express myself that way.
Momsy was impressed. She just kept saying; “You are my daughter “.
But weren’t you scared? What if he had done something funny or tried to touch you? I asked her.
“I had thought of that while he was speaking and so, I was very observant of my environment. People were around, so I had told myself I would raise an alarm if he did something funny. And then, I would have poured sand, or hit him with my launch bag, or done something else in my defence if he tried anything mischievous”. She declared.
Wow! I was shocked. What a wise “pikin”. Truly, blessed am I amongst family. There’s always something to learn when I’m with them.
“And besides, he’s not my spec”. She added.
Wait! Did I hear her right? Blood of God.
What do you mean by spec? Momsy asked with keen interest.
“Yes now, he’s not my spec. When I mean spec, I mean “husband material”. She inferred.
So you have husband material list already? I asked her.
“Yes”… She nodded her head affirmatively.
Care to share with us?
Sure. “When it’s time for me to get married, I want a God fearing guy. I want a person that honours and respect everyone in our family, I want a guy that is full of wisdom. And is of high intellect. And yes, he must be very neat and well reserved. Not “see finish guys”.
Again; wow! She shocked me in all ramifications. First, she handled the situation properly and now; she knows her “husband material”?
“E choke me in my throat “…
Momsy smiled and told her; “As you have stated it, so shall it be. You will continuously grow in wisdom in Jesus name .
But take note, Plan and purpose comes before relationship and/or marriage. You still have a very very long way to go. Continue following the processes and one day; my “gele” would be bigger than the satellite dish on that special day of yours “.
Today’s message is simple. You are not always going to be there for your children. You cannot protect them always. You cannot fight for them always.
A time has to come when they make their own decisions and fight for themselves.
Now the question I want you to ask yourself is; “Are my children wise enough to do the right things? Are they strong and assertive enough to face the world’s problems with a head held high? Do they know what they want for themselves in the nearest future?
What’s your answer? Are you good to go or more work has to be done?
Any which way, you can still walk that journey with them. And as I always say, the first step is by establishing a strong friendship foundation.
Can I tell you a secret? Move closer … Good!
What ever work you cannot do as a parent, is done with friendship.
What ever correction which cannot be passed or instilled as a parent to a child can be easily passed through friendship.
There’s power in friendship, I tell you. Don’t underestimate it in your parenting journey.
Become so so close to them, they can tell you about a slight headache.
Trust me, you wouldn’t be worried about your child’s whereabouts all the time when you are their friend.
Do you know why ?
It’s because; YOU KNOW YOUR CHILD AND YOUR CHILD KNOWS YOU.
I would love to add, that “this world no just balance”. Let your kids know, “not everyone is as kind and cool/considerate as mommy and daddy”.
There are good people and there are bad people. And so, they shouldn’t hesitate to stand up for themselves when they feel attacked or threatened in any way. Self defence skills are of great importance in “this present naija”; believe it or not.
Kindly click the like, comment and/or share button if you got value. I wish us all a productive and fruitful week ahead.
Thank you for reading. I love you all and God bless you .